‘Sirius’s Torture’
by WEAT-BIX
Summary: wasn’t meant to be a ‘how Sirius ran away’ story but it has become that. His mum hits on him and naturally he’s freaked out.please read WARNINGS inside based on truth then egsagerated.
1. 1The Truth Behind The Fiction

'Sirius's Torture'

By: weat-bix 

Rating: pg R (I'm a worried about rating stuff so that I cant read it but its strong stuff)

**Warning:** profanities, violence/ child abuse, sexual abuse to minors, street life and a different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles.

Summary: wasn't meant to be a 'how Sirius ran away' story but it has become that. His mum hits on him and naturally he's freaked out

P.O.V.'s: third person for Sirius

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: harry potter books (not no' 2)

A/N: this will have four chapters of very varying lengths because I have four dedications and four chapie titles (I've written three and a half)

**The Truth Behind The Fiction**

**Dedication: **I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the group of girls who ran just after I declared them 'SAFE!' you have made one moment of my life werse than it might have been but given me an obscure ability – when people are in a public place and screaming rape to get attention – I can walk up to them look them in the eye and say seriously " Nobody Gives a Shit." –which scares the crap out of most people.

The teenager was sitting in the kitchen getting something to eat and trying to ignore the fact that the only two people in the house ended up in the same room. His father and brother were visiting cousins but he was grounded (for what he couldn't remember) and they could not leave him to have the house to himself.

He looked up at his mother to see a look in her eyes that he recognised from somewhere but not from her. As their eyes locked she said "you look so much like your father except your eyes hell never have eyes as beautiful as yours."

The teenager had had lots of girls compliment his eyes but it was the first compliment his mother had given him, and he didn't like it "what do you mean mum?"

"You're my first sun Sirius, I love you, and I've always loved you don't you love your deer old mum?"

Sirius had always felt that his mum had a certain power, that he awed, so he said "Shore I do, just not in _that _way."

"Love is love Sirius. I love you and you love me, we are in love" his mother said sliding her leg up and down his thy.

Sirius backed his chair away from the table and just out of reach of his mother "Stop That. its… its… scary."

"Don't be stupid, its foreplay its not scary its arousing and fun. Surely a great sexy stud like yourself knows that."

"No its not, Not with you mum."

"But you said you loved me."

"I changed my mind"

Sirius's mother slammed her fist on the table and stood up as she said "love is eternal you cant '_change your mind_'!"

"Fine then _I lied_" Sirius shouted.

His mother closed the gap between them walking in what was supposed to be a seductive way. Sirius backed away until he hit the wall at which point his mother cupped his I her hand and running her finger up and down his cheek said, "I don't believe you."

"Don't touch me." He said and even in his own ears his voice sounded week and defeated.

"Fine." His mother huffed and let go but she stood as close to him as possible – she seemed to think that his personal space was a centimetre, which it wasn't.

Sirius's mind was pumping him so many contradicting thoughts at once that he didn't know what to think; _come on I stand closer than this to my friends why am I so god dam scared, what if she tries to rape me, she's my mother, I've pashed girls I don't like before to get what I want how is this so different, I'm so god dam scared she's not even doing anything and I already cant cope, I'd rather get beaten to a pulp or whipped at assembly than have her get any closer to me. _

His shoulder hit the wall before he realised that he was sliding along the wall away from her. "You've backed yourself into a corner, that's proof that at least subconsciously you want me." Sirius shook his head denning it to himself as well as his mother, but his mother garbed for his crutch and Sirius pushed her away "so now your trying to feel my breasts." Sirius took the opportunity to run, he ran through the house as fast as he could up and down stairs, he tripped a few times but never stopped, she was running after him he had to put enough distance between them so that she couldn't see him and he could hide. Finally he ran into the library and ducked behind the desk, he listened to his mothers hurried footsteps as he caught his breath. His trought was dry and saw as if he had been crying and he was also shaking but there were no tears in his eyes.

His mother walked into the room and smiled "I know your behind the desk" Sirius stood up hopping he could run but his mother blocked him in. "you've backed yourself into a corner again, its like you want me to abuse you."

She pushed her hands into the wall, one either side of him blocking his way but not touching him. His voice shook, as he said "no I'm not going _to_ anywhere I'm going _away_ from _you._" His mother leaned toward him and he ducked under her arm and put the table between them.

Sirius found that his thoughts were too confused and he could no longer understand them, he also found that he was shaking even more and he could not slow down his breathing. A fire seemed to be flaming in his mothers' eyes as she said "how close do you think you are from a mental break down?"

Sirius laughed and even though it didn't sound happy he still couldn't understand how he could laugh when he felt so destroyed and helpless, then he said in a bitter and honest voice "not very far." His mother leaned across the table as though she wanted to test how far 'not very far' was but Sirius just edged around the table swapping their places and finding a thought; _he couldn't get cornered again, he needed a destination._

He ran for the door and his mother followed, he ran down the stairs and out the front door he ran down the street and into the park, his mother following all the way. But he had enough time to sit on a bench and rest, he had a good lead and his thoughts had come back into focus again. He realised how many people were in the park. There was even a group of people slightly younger than him talking to each other nearby and he thought that his mother wouldn't try to do much in such a public aria.

She seemed to notice the people too, she sat down next to him still only a centimetre away and he slid along the bench away from her and she slid closer to him, he slid himself off the seat and fell to the ground. The group nearby stoped talking and stared but his mother mustn't have noticed because she jumped on top of him. He crawled out from under her and jogged to the group screeching at her "_I'm going to sit with them because their SAFE!_"

Sirius sat with the group and his mother stood just as close to him as she had before. The group was silent for a few seconds before one said, "well, I'm going to go do that." and got up and left, another said "me too" and followed her, the rest got up and literally ran after them.

Sirius's mother tried to pull him into a kiss but he punched her in the stomach. "You know some people are turned on by fights."

She picked him up twisting his arm behind his back. He whimpered as she forced him down the street "please don't hurt me."

"That's what you say but its not what you want."

A/N: please review even if you flame I want feedback even if it's a dot or insults just review. Hay, my first fic with caps and I've already got a cliffie, the next chaps called 'And so The Truth Ends and The Fiction Begins' which basically means Sirius takes a leap out of my variation on reality and gets to star in a variation my dreams and dreads so it gets werse for him. Oh yea, I actually laugh when I feel like shit – plus Sirius was laughing when they took him away so its in character. Oh and if anyone reads this I'd like to take this opportunity to say that some people are great kind people (like my friends and family and the people who read this 'specialy if you revew)I really like, but humans on the hole are ase-holes. Thankyou!


	2. 2And so … The Truth Ends And The Fiction...

'Sirius's Torture'

By: weat-bix 

Rating: pg R (I'm a worried about rating stuff so that I cant read it but its strong stuff)

**Warning:** profanities, violence/ child abuse, sexual abuse to minors, cutting, street life, mentions of alcohol abuse and a different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles.

Chap Summary: His mum abuses him and his mental state is twisted a little or he deals with it in a bad way.

P.O.V.'s: third person for Sirius

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: harry potter books (not no' 2)

A/N: this is the shortest of all four chapters. Thought for the day: 'pain is natures way of letting you know who is in charge.'

**And so … The Truth Ends And The Fiction Begins **

**Dedication: **to the little kid, who thinks he's learning a grown-up's card game. (Something along the likes of 'split the deck, whoever gets the jack of spades looses the rest is along the lines of strip poker.'Except it can last a while when only wearing swimmers I'm glad I don't know any more except an innocent comment "Did you know has a really big dick.")

Sirius's mother pushed him up the stairs lifting his twisted arm behind his back so that he thought his shoulder might dislocate. She threw him into his room and followed slamming the door. Sirius took the chance to curl up in the corner, his knees tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped tightly around his shins.

She walked to him and said, "stand."

"No."

She kicked him in the shins and repeated herself.

Sirius looked up at her and saw how tall and powerful she looked from down on the ground but decided that he still felt safer as a ball on the floor, until she took out her wand, then he stood and she pushed him onto his bed and commanded "Take off your pants."

He replied frightened but determined "no, that's mine."

"Your underage and mine, now take them off!"

Sirius grabbed onto the waist of his pants and pulled up, his mother pulled down but decided to change tactics and pulled up until he let go with a scream then suddenly pulled them off. His dick was as floppy as can be so his mother grabbed his wrist and shoved his wrist down her skirt. She kept a firm grip on his wrist whilst she rubbed his penis trying to make it stiffen, saying "Your my little bitch, you whore." She soon tired of her failing attempts and let go of his wrist but dug her nails into him causing him to scream. She left the room saying "that's what you like you sick sadistic freak."

As she left Sirius began to cry the first real tears he had cried in years.

He so desperately hated himself at that point. _What if he was sadistic and he would have to suffer to get pleasure? _He so wanted to kill his mother, or himself but he was too scared to try in-case his mother came back and found him in a weakened state. _What could she do to him then?_

He really wanted to hurt his mother but being too scared of her to do that he tried to bash his pillow but it did not bring him relief. He felt the need for blood and having no one else around he settled for himself.

He broke a small glass figure and tried to cut his arm with one of the pieces, but all that happened was a red scratch, no blood. So he pressed harder and slid it faster but it didn't draw blood, he tried this at least twenty times before he got frustrated and just started slashing at himself. He thought that it seemed like a sadistic thing to do but that just made him slash harder.

When he looked at his arm it was red and at least twenty-five randomly overlapping cuts bled his blood. He fell down struck by what he had done, it seemed so insane.

A/N: sorry its so short the next chapter is 'The Fiction Continues' and a warning it gets worse for Sirius in it it's a bit gory.

Messages To Great People:

Elayna Fournier: yay you're my first reviewer. You rule. Thanks for telling me about the spelling I'm going to try to fix it after I finish writing this. It gets more wrong and twisted and that. About making it long my plans so far are four chapters but I haven't finished the fourth and it keeps getting longer but its mostly ramblings off track. Thanks for reviewing.

Rosalia: thanks for your great review. Wow you actually like it I don't know how good or original this chapter and the next one is I don't think there quite as good but I hope you enjoy them anyway. The next one is .. more intense. thanks for the great review.


	3. 3The Fiction Continues

'Sirius's Torture'

By: weat-bix 

Rating: R (I'm a worried about rating stuff so that I cant read it but its strong stuff)

**Warning:** profanities, violence/ child abuse, sexual abuse to minors, cutting, street life, mentions of alcohol abuse and a different way of thinking.

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling owns most characters, muggles. I only realised it after I wrote it but this chapter has allot of resemblance to bits of a book I red a few years ago and had almost forgotten so some sections are like 'Blood of the Children' by Alan Rodgers.

Chap Summary: Sirius's mum abuses him more, will his dad save him? Very intense.

P.O.V.'s: third person for Sirius

Category: general/angst

Spoilers: harry potter books (not no' 2)

A/N: this is my longest chapter thingy yet and its also probably the most gruesome and wrong. On my dedication (read it first)I read in a newspaper article and heard on the radio about people my age and younger that have been reported to D.O.C.S and died afterwoods and some had been raped whilst in their parents care and then reterned to their care but the stuff I saw only mentioned the dead and I'm shure that there are countless of unmentioned survivers.

**The Fiction Continues**

**Dedication: **I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all the people that D.O.C.S (department of community services) couldn't/wouldn't or didn't help and all the people it did help too.

* * *

Once what Sirius had done to himself, began to sink in he could only think how stupid it was and that he didn't want anyone to find out. He skipped dinner and waited until his mother would be in bed before he went downstairs. It was holidays and he wasn't aloud to do magic so he used a potion 'drink to keep youthful looks' and rubbed it into his arm. It stung the cuts and they were not healed but the scars would disappear slightly faster. He then went silently back to his room with what he hoped was enough food to last him the next three days (until his brother got back) and placed a chair up against his door as an attempt to keep his mother out. He then fell into a disturbed sleep.

Sirius awoke the next morning to the door rattling and his mother screaming "Let me in you little freak. Oh I swear to god if you've killed yourself I'll bring you back from the grave and torture you before killing you again."

Sirius got up and dressed carefully, he was putting on a jumper when the chair flew across the room bruising his sore shin and knocking him over. His mother walked in and he immediately scrambled to his feet in an attempt to be less vulnerable.

"Morning my little FuckToy"

"I'm not a FuckToy" Sirius said defensively.

"Don't pretend you don't like it." She said grabbing his hurt arm causing him to hiss as the potion had made the pain allot stronger. His mother noticed this and slid the sleave of his jumper up revealing his cuts. "Well I wonder who might have done this?" she said knowingly.

"It was an accident. I scratched it on my table."

"Shore at least" she started counting individual cuts "8 times. I cant tell the rest apart, they overlap too much."

"Yea I did."

"No you didn't, this is just more proof that you enjoy pain, but don't worry that will make this good."

She pushed him against the wall, her hands holding his wrists against the wall above his head. Then she kissed him on the lips. He tried to pull away but couldn't with the wall behind his head so he settled for spitting as soon as she pulled away. She swapped her grip so that she was holding both his wrists with one hand. "Now you be a good little fucktoy for mummy." She said mockingly as she slipped her other hand down his pants. Sirius tried to suppress a shudder but couldn't. his mother played with him until she found she wasn't getting a response, at which point she threw him onto his bed and took off her robes.

Sirius crawled to the bed-head where he curled into a ball and shut his eyes hoping that what he couldn't see wasn't there, but his mother grabbed his ankle and pulled him until he was lying on his back. Sirius struggled to get away but she sat on him and pulled off his jumper and tee shirt and moved up to sit on his chest making it hard for him to breath. "You're going to suck me and your going to make it good." He normally enjoyed doing that even the taste and the way it made the girls moan, but the smell coming off his mother made him feel like vomiting. She moved above his mouth and he kept it shut tight trying to ignore the juices coming out of her. She backhanded him saying "Suck" and her ring cut his forehead but he kept his mouth shut.

She slid back onto his chest and said "if you don't suck things will be getting a little hot." Sirius recognised this saying and feared what was coming but did not give in. His mother pointed her wand at him and said "Ardet Sanguis Dolet" (burns blood hurts) and Sirius immediately withered and shrieked as a burning pain spread through his veins. When his mother released the curse she asked "Going to suck me now?" Sirius was trying to breathe properly and couldn't answer but he shook his head. His mother yelled frustrated "Gladius Secat Dolet" (sword cuts hurts) and cuts began reeking his body randomly, not small stinging ones like he had done but deep bloody painful ones. His body jerked in pain until his mother stoped the curse and he collapsed just conscious. His mother sat over his mouth again, Sirius couldn't breath so he kicked her in the back of the head and she got off and said "How can you kick your own mother when I love you so much don't you even care about me? Moribundus" (almost dead) Sirius began to cough up blood and he suddenly felt very very weak as though he did not have the energy to move his arm besides defend himself. "You may be able to live with pain you sick sadist but if you don't suck me I'll make this permanent. Got that?" Sirius coughed up another mouthful of blood before nodding weakly. She got on him again and he began to suck, she then revived him and he continued disgusted with himself. She only let him stop after she was satisfied. As she climbed off him he vomited onto the bed next to him and she pushed his face into it saying "You are to swallow it all and keep it down." Sirius tried to pull away but he was still weakened from the spells. His mother let go once he had licked it up.

She left her room while her son shook uncontrollably his only clear thoughts _only two more days and dad will be here, she wont dare do it with him here only two more days of this._ He stayed in his room that afternoon staring at the spiders, wishing he was one so that he could have been eaten during his abuse so that he would never have had to worry about it happening again.

It was three in the morning when he dared to venture from his room (which didn't give him any protection anyway) and into the bathroom.

As he peed he realised that his piss was red with blood. This wasn't new for Sirius but it was still unnerving. As he walked past the mirror he noticed the cuts covering his body, some were still bleeding but most had scabbed. His usually silky hair was stiff with dry blood and a wide cut ran down his cheek and under his chin whilst the black family crest stood out in blood on his forehead from his mothers ring. His chest, arms and back were covered with cuts, some not visible because of the dried blood covering them. When he moved the ones on his elbows cracked and began to bleed again and the ones on his legs hurt when they touched his pants. But he didn't dare wear robes even tough he only had one set of muggle clothes - that were now covered in blood – because robes were too easy to pull off.

Sirius wanted a shower but he didn't dare in case he woke his mother, instead he went back to his room and pulled on his jumper breathing in sharply out of the pain as he did so. He then put his wand in his pocket and crept up to the attic and into the floor of the attic so that if anyone were to go up there they would not find him. He could not sleep because of the roof pressing on his cuts. He felt uncomfortable but safer.

At about ten in the morning Sirius heard his mother get up and go into his room then go to the kitchen. At about eleven he heard her search every room in the house screaming "if you don't come out ill hurt you when I find you!". at about midday she searched the attic and even stepped on him, the floorboards pressed against him but he kept quiet. At about one o'clock his mother tired of her search and yelled "Accio Sirius" and Sirius felt his body being pulled toward her but the floorboard was in the way so he merely rubbed against it aggravating his cuts causing him to scream giving his mother the directions she needed to find him.

Once Sirius's mother was in the attic she said "Trahit" (drags) and Sirius began scraping through the small space, reopening every one of his cuts. Once she had dragged him down the attic stairs and the next flight of stairs, Sirius thrashing all the way unable to stop his progress, she dragged him into the bathroom and magically cleaned the trail of blood he had left behind.

"You got dirty in the attic, you need a shower, let me help you with your clothes, you know what happens if you resist." Sirius allowed her to undress him his only recognisable protest was a yelp as she ripped off his pants that were gripping his legs with dried blood. She pushed Sirius into the shower before undressing and following. Sirius cringed as the water hit his cuts. His mother pushed him against the wall and kissed him roughly. Sirius was disgusted but felt too weak to do anything about it. His mother began rubbing soap over his body stinging his cuts, she washed the blood out of his hair and worked her way down.

Sirius felt fear drip into him with each passing second and when his mother reached his hips his hips he whispered "please don't." pleadingly.

"I'm your mother don't you tell me what not to do!" she said kicking him in the balls causing him to fall to the ground "get up you lazy twit."

Sirius tried to push himself up but was too weak and could only get to his knees. His mother said "your just the right hight there." And took a step forward. Sirius looked down, staring at his blood running down the drain and thought _I never knew I had so much blood._ Before he passed out.

When Sirius awoke it was late morning the next day and he was still lying on the shower floor. He shivered as he remembered the events between his last sleep and passing out, and as he shivered he felt pain move up his side as his cuts had scabbed again and the ones on the floor had scabbed into it. Sirius stayed still on the floor until his mother yelled, "get ready your father will be here in half an hour."

Sirius pulled himself off the floor opening half his cuts again. He put on his bloody muggle clothes again grateful that his wand was still in them and put a robe over the top. When his father and brother got there he greeted them properly, for once glad they were there with him.

Sirius was glad that lunch was immediate, as he felt very hungry. He sat next to his brother who sat across from their father leaving Sirius in front of his mother. His brother blabbed on about their stay for ages. Sirius was glad of the males' presence, until his mother rubbed her leg up and down his thy again. Sirius was embarrassed and pretended it wasn't happening, as the males hadn't noticed. His father had noticed his cheek though as soon as conversation had lulled he said "I see you've been in trouble Sirius."

"Err yea."

"So do cuts like that cover your body?"

Sirius felt like shit and he wanted to tell his father what his mother had done but he didn't trust him he didn't feel like he could trust anyone. "yes"

"so what did he do?"

"He wasn't doing what he was told."

Sirius jumped up annoyed "Only because you told me to suck you."

"Don't you dare accuse your mother of such things boy! Verberat!" Sirius fell down as pain riddled his body. His mothers' curses came faster and lasted longer but his fathers were more powerful. His father removed the curse and said, "Now apologise to your mother."

"I'm sorry mum."

His mother walked up to him, grabbed his balls firmly and whispered "Just don't let it slip again"

Sirius slid his eyes over to his father who was watching closely but didn't seem to care about his mothers' grip. His father didn't offer him protection, his father didn't offer him safety.

Sirius ate as much food as he could and took an empty black family cup to his room after lunch. Then he began to pack an old backpack he had. He put in his magic mirror, the silver cup, some food, his Hogwarts robes and a knife. He had his wand on him.

As he was finishing packing his father walked into the room "going somewhere?" he asked in his usual calm voice.

"Where to your 'friends' live too far to walk to, you'd starve before you got there, you don't have any clean clothes or money or shelter out there. You'll die on the streets!"

"Better dead on the streets than half alive in this place!"

"How dare you!" his father yelled picking Sirius up and throwing him across the room. Sirius hit the wall and lay trembling on the floor. His father kicked him in the head until Sirius was knocked out.

When Sirius woke up he got his bag and flew his broom out the window. He hid his broom in the bushes and walked to the park where he passed out.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter grossed out (if it didn't your weird because it grossed me out and I wrote it) its going to be a while before I put in the next chapter because I haven't finished writing it yet. I don't like school but now that holidays are over I'm more motivated to write angst stuff. Sirius is away from his house but there's a new character in the next chap with a angsty story, and I mean 'Sirius is passed out in a park' MABY his mother will send him a howler.

Most of this chapter was written half around a song (I don't know what its called because I lost the cd cover) but here are the lyrics:

Rock on

Sometimes things get a little hazy

Sometimes I think I'm just a little crazy

I don't even know my own name

Soon all of me will go on up in flames

wearin' scars on my arms and in my eyes

are you friends or enemies in disguise

So hard when everything just runs against me

Jealous words turn into a love hate frenzy

Won't someone please understand

Won't someone lend me a helping hand

Time is up to do the time that's left undone

Its time to grab my hat and grab my coat I got to load my gun

Silly things always are the ones that turn out worst

And it seems the one to love you always hurts you the most

Won't someone please understand

Won't someone lend me a helping hand

Won't someone please take the time to think

Your actions and words they don't always say what they mean

Rock on

Since I was a child I used to dream of many things

Superstars and bizarre kings and their pretty queens

Now it seems I need a shot a drink to jog my thoughts

Why does it happen all the time is it is it just because

Because no one will understand

Won't someone lend me a helping hand

Won't someone please take the time to think

That your actions and words

They don't always say what they mean

They don't always say it

Why won't someone say what they mean

MESSAGES FOR THE GREAT PEOPLE:

Rosalia: thanks, this is realy fast for me to update and ive got another chapter but i havent finished writing it so its going to take me a while to update again. thanks for the revew.

Allacaya: thanks for the revew. i can relate with the whole people you dont like hitting on you thing, it sucks.2thanks for the tip with the line i will fix the others later. i banged my head on a wall once well lots of times but once on purpous, it got some kids walking past to laugh alot hmm i dont realy understand humans (self included) thanks for revewing i liked rreading both of them

Elayna Fournier: thanks for revewing again i updated so you dont have to cry you can be ...err .. happy?thanks u rule


End file.
